The Joke Library
The classics that trained every comedian — organized by type, clean enough for any room, free to steal. Browse, groan, and when you're ready, make one of your own.
Waiter Jokes
“Waiter, there's a fly in my soup!” “Don't worry, sir — there's no extra charge.”
Dad Jokes
Why did the scarecrow win an award? He was outstanding in his field.
One-Liners
When I was in college I wanted a major in law and a minor in philosophy — so I could stand up and say, “Your honor, not only is my client innocent, I can prove he doesn't exist.”
Lawyer Jokes
A guy earns a degree in philosophy and then a doctorate in law — just so he could stand in front of a judge and say: “Not only is my client innocent, I can prove he doesn't even exist.”
Doctor, Doctor!
“Doctor, I feel like a pair of curtains!” “Pull yourself together.”
Knock-Knock
“Knock knock.” “Who's there?” “Interrupting cow.” “Interrupting c—” “MOO!”
Animal Jokes
Why do cows wear bells? Because their horns don't work.
Work & Office
The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
School & Teacher
Teacher: “Name two pronouns.” Student: “Who, me?”
Marriage & Family
My wife says I never listen to her. At least, I think that's what she said.
Walks Into a Bar
A grasshopper walks into a bar. The bartender says, “Hey, we have a drink named after you!” The grasshopper says, “You have a drink named Steve?”
Puns & Wordplay
Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
Church & Sunday
How did Noah see the animals at night? Flood lights.
Story Jokes & Clever Bits
Prison is outdated. Sentence people to hard labor at the TSA instead — six months of confiscating water bottles and they lose the will to even blink.