The Joke Library
The classics that trained every comedian, organized by type, clean enough for any room, free to steal. Browse, groan, and when you're ready, make one of your own.
Waiter Jokes
“Waiter, there's a fly in my soup!” “Don't worry, sir. There's no extra charge.”
Dad Jokes
Why did the scarecrow win an award? He was outstanding in his field.
One-Liners
When I was in college I wanted a major in law and a minor in philosophy, so I could stand up and say, “Your honor, not only is my client innocent, I can prove he doesn't exist.”
Lawyer Jokes
A guy earns a degree in philosophy and then a doctorate in law, just so he could stand in front of a judge and say: “Not only is my client innocent, I can prove he doesn't even exist.”
Doctor, Doctor!
“Doctor, I feel like a pair of curtains!” “Pull yourself together.”
Knock-Knock
“Knock knock.” “Who's there?” “Interrupting cow.” “Interrupting c…” “MOO!”
Animal Jokes
Why do cows wear bells? Because their horns don't work.
Work & Office
The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
School & Teacher
Teacher: “Name two pronouns.” Student: “Who, me?”
Marriage & Family
My wife says I never listen to her. At least, I think that's what she said.
Walks Into a Bar
A grasshopper walks into a bar. The bartender says, “Hey, we have a drink named after you!” The grasshopper says, “You have a drink named Steve?”
Puns & Wordplay
Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
Church & Sunday
How did Noah see the animals at night? Flood lights.
Story Jokes & Clever Bits
Prison is outdated. Sentence people to hard labor at the TSA instead. Six months of confiscating water bottles and they lose the will to even blink.