“Waiter, there's a fly in my soup!” “Don't worry, sir — there's no extra charge.”
Waiter, Waiter! The Classic Soup Jokes
The waiter joke is comedy's perfect training wheels: a two-line format where the customer complains and the waiter's reply arrives from an angle nobody ordered. One setup, one turn, punchline last. A century of comedians learned timing on these. All classics, all clean, all yours to tell.
“Waiter, there's a fly in my soup!” “It's fine, sir. The spider on the bread will take care of it.”
“Waiter, there's a fly in my soup! What's it doing in there?” “The backstroke, sir.”
“Waiter, your thumb is in my soup!” “Don't worry, sir. It's not that hot.”
“Waiter, this coffee tastes like mud.” “Well sir, it was ground this morning.”
“Waiter, there's a hair in my soup.” “Of course, sir. That's the rabbit stew.”
“Waiter, do you have frog legs?” “No sir, I always walk like this.”
“Waiter, will my pizza be long?” “No sir, it will be round.”
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“Waiter, how do you serve shrimp?” “We lower the plate, sir.”
“Waiter, do you serve crabs?” “We serve anyone, sir. Have a seat.”
“Waiter, this soup tastes funny.” “Then why aren't you laughing, sir?”
“Waiter, what is this fly doing in my wine?” “You did ask for something with a little body, sir.”
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