The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
Work & Office Jokes (Safe for the Break Room)
Every office runs on two fuels: coffee and jokes about the office. These are the classics — clean enough for the company chat, true enough to sting a little.
A meeting is an event where minutes are kept and hours are lost.
My boss told me to have a good day. So I went home.
Teamwork is important — it gives you someone else to blame.
Hard work never killed anybody. But why take the chance?
My job is totally secure. Nobody else wants it.
I told my boss I needed a raise because three other companies were after me. He asked which ones. I said the gas, electric, and cable companies.
Why did the employee get fired from the calendar factory? He took a day off.
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I always give 100% at work: 10% Monday, 20% Tuesday, 30% Wednesday, 30% Thursday, and 10% Friday.
My boss said, “Dress for the job you want, not the job you have.” Now I'm sitting in a disciplinary meeting dressed as Batman.
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