“Doctor, I feel like a pair of curtains!” “Pull yourself together.”
Doctor, Doctor! The Classic Complaints
Same beloved format as the waiter jokes — the patient walks in with an impossible complaint, and the doctor prescribes a pun. Two lines, one turn, no co-pay.
“Doctor, I feel like a deck of cards!” “I'll deal with you later.”
“Doctor, I've broken my arm in two places!” “Then stop going to those places.”
“Doctor, I keep thinking I'm invisible!” “Who said that?”
“Doctor, everyone keeps ignoring me!” “Next, please.”
“Doctor, I feel like a bell!” “Take these pills — and if they don't work, give me a ring.”
“Doctor, I feel like a bridge!” “What's come over you?” “So far, two cars and a truck.”
“Doctor, I can't stop stealing things!” “Take these pills for a week — and if that doesn't work, bring me a television.”
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“Doctor, I think I'm a moth.” “You don't need a doctor — you need a psychiatrist.” “I know. I was on my way there, but your light was on.”
“Doctor, I feel like a dog!” “Sit.”
More joke types